I have been assigned to blog in detail about my punishment and my understanding of how to behave from here on out.
So tonight I got a really bad spanking. Otk, bare with lots of his tools of ass destruction. But he really used the dreaded razor strop a lot. That thing hurts so bad! I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever experienced one before, he special ordered his and then customized it so that it is really just a heavy leather paddle strap basically.
The crazy thing is he really gave me the worst spanking he has given me in months and I couldn’t cry. I tried to, I wanted to. I wanted to cry to get him to stop, but I couldn’t even get myself to fake a cry. So wild! It really hurt, and many times way less than that would have me sobbing and crying like a little baby. I just don’t even understand myself , grrrrr.
So, I also have to tell my understanding of my expectations from now on until further notice I guess. We haven’t really discussed how long this is going to go on for. I am in what he calls full control. This means that when we are together I cannot do anything without permission, not even roll over in bed. He said that I need to learn that all decisions are his to make and not mine. Permission to speak even many times ( he tells me when this is the expectation). When apart, I can go the bathroom without permission but that is it. Now that is so hard to do. I can try, but to ask for everything when he is not even there! That’s really hard.
If I don’t do better at this tomorrow when I am at work I am going to get another really bad spanking tomorrow, so I am going to try so so so hard to be on my best behavior. I don’t think I could do another round with that strop on the condition my butt is in right now. The only good part was the after spanking sex. That was super fun! π
Maybe I can just strive for the sex part and a fun spanking instead of a punishment one. Hmmmmmm, a girl can dream.