Rewards and punishment

So in my last post I told you all I was awaiting the verdict. I received the verdict but the good news is because I was so good today, I don’t have to start paying it until tomorrow.

The verdict: it’s pretty bad! I am grounded for 2 weeks. I am getting 5 big troubles! I have to write a letter of apology and I am full control until further notice. I will be posting daily most likely. So get used to me πŸ™‚

Date night

Super fun date night.

I was a good girl today, so I am not in any trouble tonight. We had a date night tonight and went to dinner. Laughed a lot and just enjoyed each other’s company.

He had a bad day at work so it was nice just to get to unwind and for us to have fun. I am awaiting the verdict for what is being assigned to me for a major punishment I have coming my way. I am pretty nervous because lately he has been so strict. See what prompted all of this is because I decided to cut my medication dosage in half. Every day when he would give me my medication I would hide half the dosage and pretend I took it. He understands why I did it, but he is very upset that I made the decision. See, one of my rules is that all health decisions are his to make. I don’t make the best choices when it comes to my health. But this one I really think was a good one, and I knew that the risks were great and he would not do it if I didn’t take it upon myself to do it.

So, now we are here. He is not making me increase my dose, we will see how this does. I have not had any seizures because of it. Yay!!! But, I am in so much trouble and he is doing this full control thing now. So, he will tell me the big bad verdict soon of what big price I have to pay. I really just want to get it over with and move on. I f*cked up, let’s just get this over with and move on.

Tonight was fun, I love him so much, would like to hear the news and get it over with and get past it.

That was quick- back to share

Well, I guess you will be hearing from me a lot. It seems that every time I get in trouble he wants me to blog about it. He said if it isn’t a good and well thought out blog that I will get in bad trouble for that alone. So, you will get to hear from me more often then usual.

I just wrote about 15-20 minutes ago, and I am back already. I just got done with writing the blog and then started reading other posts, then checked out other apps on my phone out of habit. Well, I didn’t ask to look at other apps on my phone so I got my sleep shorts pulled down and spanked again. It hurt really bad since I just got in trouble really bad. Ouchie. That razor strop really hurts. He is really proving his point tonight. I get it sir, I shouldn’t have made the poor choices I made. You are right. Can we please just go back to how things were? I won’t do what I did again to push you to this point. I get it, and I am sorry; I learned the lesson you are teaching.

Full control and spankings

I have been assigned to blog in detail about my punishment and my understanding of how to behave from here on out.

So tonight I got a really bad spanking. Otk, bare with lots of his tools of ass destruction. But he really used the dreaded razor strop a lot. That thing hurts so bad! I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever experienced one before, he special ordered his and then customized it so that it is really just a heavy leather paddle strap basically.

The crazy thing is he really gave me the worst spanking he has given me in months and I couldn’t cry. I tried to, I wanted to. I wanted to cry to get him to stop, but I couldn’t even get myself to fake a cry. So wild! It really hurt, and many times way less than that would have me sobbing and crying like a little baby. I just don’t even understand myself , grrrrr.

So, I also have to tell my understanding of my expectations from now on until further notice I guess. We haven’t really discussed how long this is going to go on for. I am in what he calls full control. This means that when we are together I cannot do anything without permission, not even roll over in bed. He said that I need to learn that all decisions are his to make and not mine. Permission to speak even many times ( he tells me when this is the expectation). When apart, I can go the bathroom without permission but that is it. Now that is so hard to do. I can try, but to ask for everything when he is not even there! That’s really hard.

If I don’t do better at this tomorrow when I am at work I am going to get another really bad spanking tomorrow, so I am going to try so so so hard to be on my best behavior. I don’t think I could do another round with that strop on the condition my butt is in right now. The only good part was the after spanking sex. That was super fun! 😈

Maybe I can just strive for the sex part and a fun spanking instead of a punishment one. Hmmmmmm, a girl can dream.

Manipulation is bad

I got in trouble last night for manipulation and arguing. Both are things that I am really good at, but he said is not something that I am allowed to do with him.

We were driving home when it happened so the rest of the drive I had to not speak or move without permission. It was like the timeout from hell. When we got home he put me otk. Bare. He spanked me and then we went to bed.

Usually when I am in trouble for something, I can push his buttons and start a small argument and the trouble is forgotten because he is focused on whatever small thing I picked at. It really backfired this time and he was straight onto my plan. I really don’t like his mentor, I think it has to do with him. He even told me what I was doing and said I was in trouble for doing it. And still in trouble for the original thing.

Ok, looks like this brat needs to be good or get better at being bad. Lol

So, moral of the story is manipulation is bad. I am supposed to blog about the punishment and manipulation.😈

β€˜β€˜Tis the season for trouble

Yep, I am back. Been really busy. Going through a lot. And today I am in trouble again. Sitting here with my panties pulled down and a soaked bottom. He told me to blog, I guess to tell all of you that I am in trouble too. I haven’t been listening lately and he thinks I have done bad stuff he just doesn’t know about yet.

Just been busy , both of us has. I just keep being super forgetful lately. Too much on my mind I think. Anyways, he says we are going back to full control mode. I hate that mode. That’s where I have to ask permission to pee or eat, until I learn to act right I guess.

Had a great day

Yesterday was such a great day. He took the entire day off of work and I had the day off and he took me shopping. Then he did my hair and took me to dinner.

Today I got spanked for my last blog. I guess it was disrespectful and it is not my place to question. I also got a new rule added.

So I will be careful when blogging moving forward. I don’t want to represent him poorly.

I hope everyone has a great day.

Now this is crazy sh*t

He has a mentor – that has agreed to dom him to dom me for while! So freaking strange! Let me explain!

He has an online mentor that advises him, and knows me really well because his online mentor used to be my master. No matter how mad it has made me, it hasn’t changed. Now, the plot thickens……

He has asked his mentor to be his dom so that he can be a better master for me I guess. Wtf? He has a set of rules and everything! He read me his rules, and let me tell you I am just in awe of how crazy this is. One of them is something like he has to represent his dom good and so do I. What? I didn’t agree to represent my ex ! If I wanted to do that I would still be “representing” him directly. He lost that right and that privilege a long time ago.

I am obviously frustrated with this. I am sure if you heard his side you would see a different side and I will probably be in trouble for questioning his judgement on this. It’s really not my place to question him trying to better himself for the sake of bettering our relationship, it is just so frustrating. Curious to others opinions?