We had a great 4 day weekend, and I have not been spanked all weekend, and then BOOM! He needed to remind me that I am grounded and supposed to be spanked every day.
He told me to get in position. I asked to not get spanked and he told me not to even try it. I knew he was serious so I tried to not argue at all. He tied my feet down, while I was face down in the bed with my hands pinned under me and my collar on.
I don’t know what tools were used when, I just know that there was a fire flurry on my ass. He used this hard plastic stick that is the width of a ruler but thicker and longer then a ruler. It’s made of really hard plastic. He also used this rubber paddle thing, wooden bath brush, and the razor strop.
After my spanking, we made love. It was amazing and I loved every bit of it. He makes me feel so loved and I love him so much. I tried to accept my spanking and get it over with so we could get to the good stuff. 🙂
I am very thankful for everyone in my life. I am very lucky and consciously feel that many days.
I have overcome many tough times in my life, and I am thankful I made it through to be able to enjoy all of the people that help shape my world each day.
I am thankful beyond words that I get to go to sleep and wake up to my best friend every day. I love that I get to be his and that he loves me so much. I have never felt a love like this, and it is so scary and amazing to have one person that your world revolves around.
I know life brings normal day to day challenges, but in the big picture of it all; I have it so good. I have kids that I created and I get to part of their life everyday even the adult ones. I have family and friends and support systems and a job I love.
I am really counting my blessings today.
Tonight I got spanked with some small rubber paddle. It was really a stinger and an ouchie and it looks like I have 27 days more to go of these daily spankings. Yikes.
A recent comment to my last post made me think, and realize that I share with you all of what I did wrong usually, my thoughts, and the punishment. What you don’t hear about is the huge amount of love and care I get. He explains how much he loves me and why he punishes me. He rubs my back and holds me, he comforts me and dries my tears when I have them, he laughs and enjoys life with me. After spankings he holds me and loves me with an unconditional and close love like none other.
We live this lifestyle and I agreed to be his, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. There are many times I am regretful for my action, and other times I am regretful because I got punished, and many times a combination of both.
I struggle with being good many days, because it’s hard for me to not do what I went when I want to. Giving control is freeing and scary at the same time. I hate that when I make my own decisions they are so bad. I know they are self destructive but I can’t see or stop while I am on a roll. I hate this about me so much. I hate that I am so broken and messed up that I can’t stop myself from making choices that end up hurting me or others. When vanilla, I turn into somebody I don’t really like. I know I am better person when I am not vanilla, and I like the fun and happy person I become so much better.
I love who I have as my master and I should post more about all of the good things he does to make me feel loved and protected every day. I know I am so lucky to be owned by him. I just sometimes might not feel so lucky when I just got a spanking or am about to get one.
I will be blogging more often I guess. I am still in trouble and have to share it with you, because he tells me to blog after I get spanked. I think maybe he thinks that it is embarrassing or something when I have to describe when I get in trouble.
Tonight I just got tied to bed, ass oiled, and spanked with the red thick plastic stick and the razor strop. I am still wearing my collar and my feet are still tied to the bed. I was told that last week was the last wild week I will ever have.
Guess I am in for a long month.
Well I came back in town from being gone for a week. I made really bad decisions while gone, and now I am super big trouble.
I drank, I went out with strangers and partied, I lied and just basically broke every rule he has. I just needed to let loose for a bit. Now that I am home I am regretting it. He said that I am grounded for a month to my bedroom. I cannot leave his side without permission. I will get spanked every day I am grounded. He said he will be giving me training in respect. I am not allowed to play on my phone,or watch tv. I am going to be bored and spanked for the next month.
I got spanked pretty bad today, he even brought out the belt which I haven’t had to deal with in a long time. He tied me down and spanked me with the bath brush, red stick, razor strop, and belt. Then I pleasures him without being allowed to cum.
He said his goal is for me to not be able to sit well for a month. I feel bad that I went wild, I just got in this mindset that I was away from him and could do as I pleased. I was wrong and I feel regretful.
So we had a pretty rough day yesterday. Today he said that he would not let us be vanilla any longer. Based on my attitude I got big trouble today.
I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced a razor strop, which is a very thick leather strap. Usually they are two thick leather strips with a handle. My master oiled the leather, used shoe goo the glue the two flaps together and then cut it so it looks like a super super thick leather paddle. It is not a nice thing to get spanked with.
So for this punishment he put baby oil on my bottom, and then spanked me for a bit with this hard plastic red stick thing he has. He then spanked me with the bath brush for awhile. Then he gave me 100!!! With the razor strop. I was in tears by the end. It takes a lot to put me to tears. Ouch. For this entire day I was not allowed to leave the room he was in without permission.
Needless to say,I tried real hard all day to be good.
Some days like today I just don’t care about the stupid rules or the stupid consequences. I am so frustrated and get so mad. I guess any relationship has its ups and downs. Now, please don’t misunderstand; I love him like crazy.