He is so tired, I am so tired. Seems that we are constantly go go going right now. Need some sleep and rest. Advertisements
I will start this blog by introducing the relationship that me and my R have together. I don’t know what category our relationship falls under; bdsm, domestic disciple, taken in hand, or 24/7 total power exchange. It is a mix of a little bit of all of them.
How our relationship works is I have a set of rules and if I don’t follow them he has the power to punish me however he sees fit. I have a list of hard limits that he can’t cross and he has one hard limit I can’t cross. As long as he doesn’t break my hard limits he has 100% full control of my life and my consequences.
He is strict but he spoils me all the time too. He makes me feel loved and treasures and safe. I am sure many people would wonder how I could give another person that much control and feel safe. Let me explain ; by having set rules and limits I know he will never cross those. So I will never be truly hurt. He keeps me safe from myself and my own self destructive and irresponsible behavior.
Now, I am sure most would say that I am an adult and should be able to do that for myself. But here is the crazy thing; I wish I could. I wish I didn’t make stupid decisions and I thought things through more. But I don’t. And I need that structure and disciple. He needs to have that control. We are both very smart professionals with children.
Our children don’t know, and we are very private about our lifestyle. I am sure they see that he is the head of the relationship.
it works for us and I love him and he loves me like crazy. We are so close and so in tune with each other and our needs. We are respectful and loving to each other. He leads by example.
Now, I am definitely a challenge as I have a big personality and I am always getting into some kind of trouble. I can’t wait to share those stories with you at a later time.
Yes my friends… I was actually good today. I haven’t got in trouble today. I know right! One for the record books! It was a good day. We had family over today. Yesterday was a drama filled day, and a rough one. But today, totally good. Got some housework done. Had family over, no drama, no problems. And…. I was a good girl.
He even said that he is giving me some credit off for time I owe for another punishment that I haven’t paid for yet. Now that is one damn good girl 😇
I don’t know if any of you have ever had a timed spanking, but minutes seem like hours. I had five and a half minutes and that doesn’t sound very long at all, but man is it ever long. Five and a half minutes timed with the razor strop, Plastic stic, and belt. It feels like hours and hours. The razor strop hurts so bad that by the time the belt hits it is a relief. My butt is an ugly mess, all that and I didn’t even cry. I must be really tough right now- because no tears for this girl.
I bet you are wondering what I did to get such a significant spanking. I was bad. That’s what I did. Just pure bad. He tells me to drink water, I was really busy at work, and he kept asking me and asking me to send him a picture of my water. Well I didn’t have time to go get my water, I really was very busy. So I just screen shotted an old picture I sent him and zoomed in, added a filter and sent it. That did not work. He instantly knew it was an old picture and said I was in trouble, I tried to say I was just playing but by then it was too late. So I guess trying to be deceptive is something that gets you an ugly butt. Note to self.
Well I have painted my nails per his instruction, and I am ready for bed. Woke up to great sex this morning, and had a good day with my love.
Now ready for bed.
Well he has decided that he wants me in what we call full control mode. He found out some things and feels like he has been “sleeping” and not protecting me like he should. So he is getting super overboard now.
Let me back up- life has had some recent changes. With the major ups and downs in careers and health(we are both fine now), he had had a recent epiphany. So now he wants to go back on the dom roller coaster and go super strict. Super frustrating on my end because, one month we are relaxed then we are strict then relaxed. I just am along for the ride of what board game spin we are spinning this month …… and the spin for month of November my fellow blog friends is ….. CRAZY STRICT.
So he wants super control now. This means I don’t go the bathroom without permission. I don’t eat or drink, watch tv, use my phone, etc without permission. If I am with him he wants me in arms reach at all times and touching and adoring him, if I need to leave his side I have to ask. Sounds fun (I do like the adoring him part) But in like a Walmart, I wander and shop. If I am with the kids it is very easy for me to lose focus and just start looking at things and next thing you know he is calling me and asking where am I in the store. Well under the new “rules” this would result in getting in trouble. See my point?
What do you think about this? Curious to opinions here. Not that it will change his direction, but it’s still nice to hear others opinions.
I am in so much trouble for this medicine thing. I am waiting to find out just how much. He is really upset, and I feel bad that he is upset. I hate how upset he is- I feel sad to see him this upset. He is really worried about me. And most of all- I am in so much trouble. I know that as soon as he is done being so upset my butt is going to pay the price.
It already hurts from the belt and strop spanking yesterday and the day before. And I know that is nothing compared to what’s coming. I better toughen up, because I know I am in for it. Waiting for it ……..
Well I have a red butt and tears in my eyes because I just can’t do it. I just can’t behave.
I thought I was going to outsmart my master, my doctors, and everyone. I decided to half my medicine amd see if I could handle it. I just want to be done with it and I thought I could do it. Well I was wrong and I had to confess because it didn’t work and had a bad result. So now I am back on the full dose and in some pretty bad trouble for it.
He is not pleased with my actions- I made a poor choice. Bad girl! What can I say. I am who I am.
So I was told to blog. We have been doing really good and things going super good. Trying to be good lately and totally achieving greatness..lol. I am a perfect total well behaved submissive that follows rules and our relationship is perfect. Work is going perfect- kids are doing great. Such well adjusted perfect little angels they are. I am good mom- and make great decisions as a mom. Family is so functional – we really are all so normal and get along.
Wouldn’t that be nice if that was actually true. Well it’s not. I am not the perfect sub- I don’t follow the rules- I make mistakes all the time. My relationship is not perfect. I am in love and feel so lucky to have my best friend as my master and my lover and my partner- but it’s not perfect. I am ok with that. I am not well behaved. I will never be well behaved. I am lucky if a day goes by that I don’t totally screw something up. I am just that girl. I laugh- I mess things up- I have always tried to love a lot and laugh a lot – help people along the way. I don’t think things through- I build up walls- I have faults – I have flaws- but I also have a huge heart. I am me! I try to be a good mom- but I mess that up too sometimes.
My family is dysfunctional- we fight. We are petty and do stupid shit to each other that regret later and sometimes it’s too late – sometimes it’s not. Through it all though – I am me. And right now – I am someone that just feels like blah blah blah. I try to be that perfect person in the first paragraph- but I am not. I am blah blah blah. I am me. I am chaos – I am bad- I am effort but for not, as I am me at my core.
Well he has been telling me that I have to drink lots of water because of this medicine I am taking. Hydration is really important to me getting better. I do know this, but when I get in my zone at work I just get too busy to care.
So today he kept texting me and texting me to go get a glass of water. I kept ignoring it because I was on call after call- meeting after meeting. Water was the last thing I really cared about. So he texted me : 25! And said that he need to see a picture of my water or it would keep growing. My plan : pretend you don’t see the text and get out of the entire thing. So he calls. I hit ignore. I am in a call- it’s true. So another text rolls around – it’s higher. If I don’t send a picture in some designated timeframe it goes to 175. Well I am super busy. So I do go get my water filled. Thank goodness.
I go back to my desk and wow- meetings, calls, everything! Then I see him walk into my office. Crap! I didn’t hit send on the picture. He sees my water cup full and the camera open on my app so he accepts it. But I know I am in trouble for no communication and making him come there to make sure I am ok. So tonight when I get home- late from work I got 75.
It could be worse. Lol.
So I have been out of town all week, today is my first day back in town and I was told that I need a reminder that we are focusing on the rules. So this reminder comes in the form of a spanking with the strop and the stupid red stick and typing them and sending them to him.
He said that I forget I am owned and think I own myself at times. He said I was going to not leave the room until my bottom was bruised, luckily he came to his senses and he didn’t follow through on that one. I think he was just trying to scare me on that one. Good thing too- because it worked.
Going to get Chinese food sitting on a sore ass. Yep, I said it. He just reviewed each rule with me over his knee so I “knew”the rules.
Here is what I happened. Lately we have had a rough patch in life. During this time, we have kinda taken a break from me getting spanked. Well lately he said we were going back to it. He has been telling me lately to follow his rules but I haven’t really been doing it. Earlier today I told him I didn’t think we were really starting that yet. So after I spent longer then he said I could shopping and twice as much money, he decided to review the rules with me with my shorts down and me over his knee. He took out the razor strop and the hard plastic red stick. I think it’s lexan.
So now we are driving to get Chinese food- and I am in what he calls full control for the night. That means I can’t leave his side without permission – not even to go to the bathroom. Dang! Guess he isn’t playing around. Someone got his dom muscles flexed tonight tee hee.