He is so tired, I am so tired. Seems that we are constantly go go going right now. Need some sleep and rest.


Had a great day

Yesterday was such a great day. He took the entire day off of work and I had the day off and he took me shopping. Then he did my hair and took me to dinner.

Today I got spanked for my last blog. I guess it was disrespectful and it is not my place to question. I also got a new rule added.

So I will be careful when blogging moving forward. I don’t want to represent him poorly.

I hope everyone has a great day.

Now this is crazy sh*t

He has a mentor – that has agreed to dom him to dom me for while! So freaking strange! Let me explain!

He has an online mentor that advises him, and knows me really well because his online mentor used to be my master. No matter how mad it has made me, it hasn’t changed. Now, the plot thickens……

He has asked his mentor to be his dom so that he can be a better master for me I guess. Wtf? He has a set of rules and everything! He read me his rules, and let me tell you I am just in awe of how crazy this is. One of them is something like he has to represent his dom good and so do I. What? I didn’t agree to represent my ex ! If I wanted to do that I would still be “representing” him directly. He lost that right and that privilege a long time ago.

I am obviously frustrated with this. I am sure if you heard his side you would see a different side and I will probably be in trouble for questioning his judgement on this. It’s really not my place to question him trying to better himself for the sake of bettering our relationship, it is just so frustrating. Curious to others opinions?

I was good today

Yes my friends… I was actually good today. I haven’t got in trouble today. I know right! One for the record books! It was a good day. We had family over today. Yesterday was a drama filled day, and a rough one. But today, totally good. Got some housework done. Had family over, no drama, no problems. And…. I was a good girl. 

He even said that he is giving me some credit off for time I owe for another punishment that I haven’t paid for yet. Now that is one damn good girl 😇

I have an ugly butt right now

I don’t know if any of you have ever had a timed spanking, but minutes seem like hours. I had five and a half minutes and that doesn’t sound very long at all, but man is it ever long. Five and a half minutes timed with the razor strop, Plastic stic, and belt. It feels like hours and hours. The razor strop hurts so bad that by the time the belt hits it is a relief. My butt is an ugly mess, all that and I didn’t even cry. I must be really tough right now- because no tears for this girl. 

I bet you are wondering what I did to get such a significant spanking. I was bad. That’s what I did. Just pure bad. He tells me to drink water, I was really busy at work, and he kept asking me and asking me to send him a picture of my water. Well I didn’t have time to go get my water, I really was very busy. So I just screen shotted an old picture I sent him and zoomed in, added a filter and sent it. That did not work. He instantly knew it was an old picture and said I was in trouble, I tried to say I was just playing but by then it was too late. So I guess trying to be deceptive is something that gets you an ugly butt. Note to self.

He is on one again

Well he has decided that he wants me in what we call full control mode. He found out some things and feels like he has been “sleeping” and not protecting me like he should. So he is getting super overboard now. 

Let me back up- life has had some recent changes. With the major ups and downs in careers and health(we are both fine now), he had had a recent epiphany. So now he wants to go back on the dom roller coaster and go super strict. Super frustrating on my end because, one month we are relaxed then we are strict then relaxed. I just am along for the ride of what board game spin we are spinning this month …… and the spin for month of November my fellow blog friends is ….. CRAZY STRICT. 

So he wants super control now. This means I don’t go the bathroom without permission. I don’t eat or drink, watch tv, use my phone, etc without permission. If I am with him he wants me in arms reach at all times and touching and adoring him, if I need to leave his side I have to ask. Sounds fun (I do like the adoring him part) But in like a Walmart, I wander and shop. If I am with the kids it is very easy for me to lose focus and just start looking at things and next thing you know he is calling me and asking where am I in the store. Well under the new “rules” this would result in getting in trouble. See my point? 

What do you think about this? Curious to opinions here. Not that it will change his direction, but it’s still nice to hear others opinions. 

Waiting for the verdict 

I am in so much trouble for this medicine thing. I am waiting to find out just how much. He is really upset, and I feel bad that he is upset. I hate how upset he is- I feel sad to see him this upset. He is really worried about me. And most of all- I am in so much trouble. I know that as soon as he is done being so upset my butt is going to pay the price. 

It already hurts from the belt and strop spanking yesterday and the day before. And I know that is nothing compared to what’s coming. I better toughen up, because I know I am in for it. Waiting for it ……..

Bad girls bad girls

Well I have a red butt and tears in my eyes because I just can’t do it. I just can’t behave. 

I thought I was going to outsmart my master, my doctors, and everyone. I decided to half my medicine amd see if I could handle it. I just want to be done with it and I thought I could do it. Well I was wrong and I had to confess because it didn’t work and had a bad result. So now I am back on the full dose and in some pretty bad trouble for it. 

He is not pleased with my actions- I made a poor choice. Bad girl! What can I say. I am who I am. 

Blah blah blah

So I was told to blog. We have been doing really good and things going super good. Trying to be good lately and totally achieving greatness..lol. I am a perfect total well behaved submissive that follows rules and our relationship is perfect. Work is going perfect- kids are doing great. Such well adjusted perfect little angels they are. I am good mom- and make great decisions as a mom. Family is so functional – we really are all so normal and get along.

Wouldn’t that be nice if that was actually true. Well it’s not. I am not the perfect sub- I don’t follow the rules- I make mistakes all the time. My relationship is not perfect. I am in love and feel so lucky to have my best friend as my master and my lover and my partner- but it’s not perfect. I am ok with that. I am not well behaved. I will never be well behaved. I am lucky if a day goes by that I don’t totally screw something up. I am just that girl. I laugh- I mess things up- I have always tried to love a lot and laugh a lot – help people along the way. I don’t think things through- I build up walls- I have faults – I have flaws- but I also have a huge heart. I am me! I try to be a good mom- but I mess that up too sometimes.

My family is dysfunctional- we fight. We are petty and do stupid shit to each other that regret later and sometimes it’s too late – sometimes it’s not. Through it all though – I am me. And right now – I am someone that just feels like blah blah blah. I try to be that perfect person in the first paragraph- but I am not. I am blah blah blah. I am me. I am chaos – I am bad- I am effort but for not, as I am me at my core.