I have had a really tough month. I have been having back problems which has resulted in 3 spinal injections in the last month and a consult with the surgeon. Then about a week ago I wake up and my leg is terrible pain. Making it difficult to walk and being in a crazy amount of pain.
During this time, he has been so supportive and sweet to me. He has had his own struggles he is dealing with, so we have both been just kinda dealing with things and getting through each day together. Then, add to the mix; problems with a 17 year old son that steals, lies, and does drugs. To put the cherry on top of it all; my ex husband showed back up in town after 6 months of being in a different State with little to no interaction with the kids. Throughout it all I still have my demons I dance with every night and day.
He is super distant lately, and I understand why. He dives into his Facebook and we just kind of coexist during the evenings. I am sure he is sick of having to take constant care of me during this back thing. It has got to be so exhausting for him and I hate putting that burden on him. I see his health is starting to suffer, and I think I am the cause. You can’t have that much stress and not feel it.
So, as far as our lifestyle; it has been put to the back burner while we deal with our problems. I have had to safe word two times in the last month because I knew they were days I couldn’t take it. He has tried to have me follow his rules but I am just not into it right now. I really just want to do what I want to do right now. Besides that, the good thing is I really haven’t got in much trouble. I am sure he is looking out for me by not spanking me because he knows I have this back issue. I appreciate that from him and feel that he really always has my best interests at heart even when it’s tough to.
I know it’s tough on him to pause our lifestyle while we deal with these problems. It’s hard for him to not have that control and I think that is another thing that stresses him out. But no matter what we deal with we will get through these things together. I know how lucky I am to have such a great man as my best friend, lover, and partner. I feel grateful every day that I get to wake up and go to sleep next to my best friend.