I got spanked for a really long time last night. But I didn’t cry. I couldn’t cry. It was strange. I was spanked long and hard and got to where I still didn’t care. I didn’t let down my walls enough to let the spanking hurt and feel the cleansing pain. I was irritated and annoyed and tired.
This morning I woke up super feisty and bold. Well…. You guessed it…. I got spanked again. But this time it was a very much and I started to feel my walls slip away. I almost cried after only a small amount of swats. I got up and got ready for work, but I was way too open. I knew that I had a rough day ahead of me, as I was getting some results of a loved ones medical tests and my son was sick, plus I knew I had a very busy work day ahead of me.
Tonight, after a long rough day, I spoke with him on my drive home from work. He was venting about my children again, and I just couldn’t take another complaint about my kids. I got upset and started to cry. Are you kidding me? My walls were down enough to allow myself to cry! Grrrrrrr! We talked and he realized my bad day and made me feel better. Later we ran to the store to pick up a couple things. When we got home, I went to make my son food and my adult son asked if I would make him some too. Well, my love got mad at me for agreeing to make my adult child dinner without asking him if he wanted it first. Needless to say, it sent me over the edge. As the night went on, it continued with him getting mad at what seemed like every little interaction or thing to do with my adult children. Then I got really upset to the point of crying again. We spent a long time discussing it and talking through it from both sides.
I think we both are going to bed feeling better that we talked through it. We both have things to work on, which is what any good relationship needs. We love each other enough to try and be better for each other.