Doing well after bad choices

So recently I made some decisions that affected my health in a bad way. Luckily I am feeling better now and back at work. However, I am in some trouble because of it. 

I have been getting over the knee spankings a few nights this week before bed. I know the big trouble I haven’t paid yet and I am worried about it. It sucks, cuz I know it’s coming sometime. I just don’t know at what moment or what thing will set it off. 

He rolled out some changes In rules not too long ago. But they are more strict then the previous ones,that were too strict to follow. So I am really don’t think the new ones are setting me up for success here. Lol. 

I just know this….. I love him like crazy. And he is amazing to me. He spoils me, takes care of me, supports me, holds me, and yes… He spanks me too. But I just don’t know if I can ever be a truly good submissive. I get in these moods where I am so stubborn and just want to do what I want to do. I frustrate myself even, I am sure he is crazy with frustration. I wish he would hear me when I say… Stricter rules aren’t the answer. Easier ones are. 


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